Nicolette Sweeney Willard
Nicolette Sweeney Willard
individual-therapy-san-francisco.jpg

How do you know it’s time to start couples therapy or individual counseling?

You know that something has to change, but what and how? The process of starting individual therapy or couples counseling can be daunting. I keep it real, playful and inviting for folks in couples therapy, individual counseling, and family therapy.

Change can occur in a single moment. I'm not talking about an overnight process - I am referring to the power you have to CREATE the life you want, even if you may not be able to envision it at the moment.

My favorite Buddhist proverb describes the presence of a "lantern lighting up a place that has been dark for a hundred, a thousand, or ten thousand years," (MWND, p. 923).

My passion is serving marginalized communities, creatives, and neurodiverse couples. When you walk into a session with me, I want you to feel welcomed, supported, and safe. I know how it feels to not be represented or seen by neurotypical, supremacist society. Being raised Buddhist, being a creative and quirky, often left me feeling like an outcast. I get it; I am here to help.

Let's light the lantern together. How exciting to discover what it illuminates! You can learn more about me and the process we will share together here.

 

IMG_0056.jpeg

01 on

one

You may be here having a "dark night of the soul" and feeling lost. Perhaps you find yourself repeating a relationship pattern no matter how much you try to change your approach or who you get involved with. Or maybe you’re sick of feeling insecure and anxious and want to FINALLY believe in yourself.

When we are struggling, it can feel like the hardest task in the world to maintain hope. When intense emotions arise, especially related to memories and feelings related to traumatic experiences, it can overwhelm your ability to think, communicate or make healthy decisions.

If you are struggling to feel okay where you are, you don't have to go through this alone. I believe our hurts originate in relationships with others so they can also be healed by them. This is what makes Individual Therapy so powerful.

We all have the potential to make the relationship with ourselves and others both secure and loving, as well as fulfilling and rewarding.

I help my clients break through often by acting as a mirror when they cannot see theirselves. I am a person who will be holding on to the hope until they can hold on to hope theirselves.

These experiences - in individual therapy - are the cobblestones that line your path. In your heart of hearts, where are you hoping your path will lead?

​I believe only you are the expert of your life. I am here to help you transform the obstacles to living your truth and manifesting the life you want.

“I saw Nicolette once a week for a full year and I couldn’t be happier and more grateful for our work together. She is sharp, kind, witty, perceptive and creative with superb instincts and intuition. She’s especially good at asking insightful questions, drawing meaningful connections and weaving elements of mindfulness and somatics into her approach.”
— ~Anna S., individual therapy client of Nicolette
color-6.png

02 Couples

Specializing in sex issues and real relationship challenges.

I’m a couples therapist with a strong focus on sex and intimacy. Sexual issues are real—and they show up in all kinds of ways. If you’re struggling with low desire, performance anxiety, pain during sex, or feeling miles apart from your partner in terms of what you want—I got you. These issues are more common than people think, and they are absolutely worth addressing.

This work is direct, honest, and focused on helping you understand your unique sexual self—and reconnect with your partner if you’re in one. My approach is deeply affirming of neurodivergence and diverse relationship structures.

I work with people navigating everything from sexual trauma and aversion to coercion, rejection sensitivity, and desire mismatch. I’m especially passionate about supporting neurodiverse couples, and I bring curiosity and care to the ways different neurotypes experience intimacy, touch, and communication.

Whether you’re healing, exploring, rebuilding, or redefining what intimacy means for you, you’ll be met with skill, compassion, and clarity.

Let’s talk about the things nobody talks about:

Anxiety about performance, orgasm, or “doing it right”

Feeling unwanted or constantly rejected

Low libido or desire discrepancy

Pain with sex or physical discomfort

Avoidance, aversion, or fear

Shame around being “broken”

The impact of sexual trauma or coercion

Shame around kink, identity, or preferences

Neurodivergence and sensory, emotional, or communication differences

Shame, shame, shame, shame, shame, ugh!

Training:

I have completed advanced training in Assessing and Treating Sex Issues in Psychotherapy with Martha Kauppi. My training includes ongoing specialized consultation groups with Martha Kauppi on sex and intimacy issues. I am also advance trained in EFT Couples Therapy and EMDR trauma therapy.

“She’s [Nicolette] so easy to open up to, encourages authenticity with every interaction, and helped me become more aware of my own personal potential as well as identify the personally-imposed blocks that were keeping me from getting the most out of my life. I can’t recommend Nicolette highly enough!”
— -Heather L., former client of Nicolette
color-6.png

03 Child & Family Therapy

Is your child experiencing trauma symptoms, anxiety or depression?​ Do you find yourself in a power struggle with your teenager that you just can't win? Are you at a loss as to how to deal with your child's behavioral problems?​

I LOVE working with children and families! I actively empower families to break through their formidable challenges and create secure and loving relationships. I support parents and caregivers in attuning to and effectively responding to their child's feelings and needs. In turn I coach children and teens in identifying how they feel and learning how to communicate this to their parents. I work with children and teens to reduce behavioral issues and symptoms of emotional disturbance.

I have a combined 15 years of experience working with teens, children and families in school, community, domestic violence shelters and mental health agency settings. The challenges my young clients have face include, but are not limited to:

-bullying
-post traumatic stress
-witnessing domestic violence
-parental separation/divorce
-adjustment to a new blended family
-abuse and neglect
-teenage sexuality & gender identity exploration
-anxiety
-OCD
-depression
-bipolar disorder
-caregiver mental health challenges

I have expertise in facilitating social-emotional literacy via expressive arts therapy, emotionally focused therapy and emotion-coaching in working with youth and families to create deeper and more secure connections.

Most importantly, I help children and families have FUN together - something that often gets lost in the struggle.

“My time with Nicolette made a profound and lasting change in my life and renewed my faith in the power and transformative potential of psychotherapy. It’s truly a gift that keeps on giving. Most warmly recommended!”
— ~A.S., former client of Nicolette
color-6.png